That's right, boys and girls -- now you can relive your memories of being bored playing Paperboy in the arcade (or on the NES) by being being bored playing Paperboy on your $400 Xbox 360. Welcome to the "HD Generation!"

Exciting features include (and I'm not even making this up):

• Three levels of difficulty!

There's also a new online co-op mode, in case you manage to find some other sucker who paid for this. Which you shouldn't. Remember: don't buy the shovelware and they'll stop shoveling it out.